Just Be And You Are

Self-improvement tactics like posture correction, speech intonation and maintaining eye contact almost seem deceiving. On the receiving end, it looks like charm and confidence. Even those knowledgeable of such methods succumb to them. They make a presentation more powerful, a marketing message more provocative, a simple introduction more meaningful. Whether purposeful or natural, these techniques aren't deceptive at all. They're rooted in our cultural perception. We define the words, "charm" and "confidence", in such an exact way that the components of each can be practiced and replicated. It's a game like any other. If someone tells you they're a salesman or psychologist, you start looking for the telltale signs of their profession. If they don't mention their line of work, they're simply great conversationalists and listeners. We're actually allowing ourselves to be deceived. Priming and classical conditioning prove this easily. Non-verbal cues are extremely powerful. In conversation, we subconsciously note things like pupil dilation, forehead creases, body positioning, voice modulations and such. Used effectively, one person can guide another through a whole maze of experiences. It's what successful storytellers do best. Bottomline: Learning how to manipulate a conversation may seem like a deceiving exercise, but our cultural frame is set in a way to allow for that deception to occur. We're simply playing a game within a boxed point of view. If it's possible to master this game, taking a person at face value takes on a new light. We have little choice but to do that though. Relationships, conversations and trust evolve over time. If the charm and confidence are a charade, it'll be known. The initial interaction is only a beginning.